


Tears 'till 2am

by Brushtale



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Angst, But Yuugo needs a hug, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Romance, So much angst, Some uplifting moments
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-03 22:07:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20460245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brushtale/pseuds/Brushtale
Summary: (Cross-posted from Fanfiction.net under the name Bunnywings)"How's Rin? Is she planning on coming by tomorrow?" Trembling hands set down on the keys and replied, "No. She can't make it."Yuugo's emotions after Rin was taken away, as he's texting with Crow. Multiple chapters, follows Yugo trying to get her back throughout Arc-V, shippiness increases over time. Other Yuyas are mentioned. Yugo does not handle things well. Intensely angsty, you have been warned.





	1. Chapter 1

_“Hey, Yuugo! How are ya?”_

The words appeared on the softly-glowing screen with a somewhat muffled noise that signaled the message’s arrival. There was a long pause, then a reply suddenly appeared, as if it thought it was right on time.

_“I’m fine.”_

There was a shorter pause, now, as the two words were re-read several times, then their owner stumbled to add,_ “What’re you up to, Crow?”_

_“Nothing special.”_ The first person replied, _“I took a few of the kids out on the D-Wheel earlier, just around the building to let them have some fun. You would’ve loved to see their faces.”_

In the silence of the nearly pitch-black room, a quietly choked sob sounded, and a slow, shaking hand managed, _“That’s great.”_ After several typos.

Yuugo watched for the next message from Crow, but he could barely see the computer screen in front of him. His blearily staring eyes were blinded by tears. As seconds slipped by, his head sank between his arms, and he curled into a tighter and more painful ball. He temporarily shut out the blank light of the computer, and, hugging his knees, was overwhelmed by exhaustion and pain.

Every labored breath stabbed at his already aching chest, choking him more and more until he grasped at his head from dizziness. Why wouldn’t it stop? Why wouldn’t everything return to the way it was?

_‘Bloop.’_

Yuugo’s eyes shot open at the sound from his computer and he scrambled upright, hastily wiping his eyes on his sleeve. The now-established silence was interrupted by a loud sniff, and a soft shuffle as Yuugo desperately returned to the computer screen. It almost didn’t matter what Crow said. Anything to get his mind off of what had happened. Anything at all.

But as he read his friend’s question, he crumbled again:

_“How’s Rin? Is she planning on coming by tomorrow?”_

Trembling hands set down on the keys and replied, _“No. She can’t make it.”_ There was no indication in the simple words that Yuugo was currently awake and alone in the dark, tearing at his electric-blue hair with tears streaming freely down his face, as he shattered further beneath a single haunting fact.

The dark cloaked figure, the flash of light, Rin’s last expression… It all replayed again and again in Yuugo’s mind, each rerun like a gunshot to his heart. Why did he have to keep thinking about it? But in the back of his mind, he knew, it was because he couldn’t stop thinking about _her_.

_Was she safe? Was she a prisoner? Where had she been taken to? Could he save her? Was she already dead? Was she being tortured? What had she done to deserve this? Why couldn’t he have protected her?_

The questions assaulted the broken bluenette’s mind as his fingers tore deeper into his hair and he begged to whatever being that would hear him that Rin was alive. He wouldn’t dare ask that she be alive _and_ well. The thought of sounding that greedy terrified him. If he asked too much, he might be denied. But he might be denied as it was, and in fact, he might just be begging to nothing but his own mind. Rin might already be…

No.

Think of Crow. Think of the kids. Think of anything but what had really happened. Crow would stop asking about Rin, right? He’d talk about the kids more. Or he’d complain about the Tops, or the police. Anything but Rin…

Luck did not favor Yuugo, as the next message appeared from Crow:

_“Eh? She can’t make it tomorrow? What’s she got going on that’s more important than the kids, huh?”_

Yuugo’s glassy, teal eyes stared blankly. How would he reply to that…? How would he even begin...? He gave another loud sniff, wiped his face on his sleeve again, and fought back a new wave of nauseating emotion as he realized what the truth would sound like. Staring more didn’t help.

_“I don’t really know what she’ll be doing,”_ the reply finally appeared. Followed by sharp sobs, the next message read, _“Crow…she’s gone. Rin’s gone.”_

Crow was silent. Then all at once, he typed, _“What happened?”_

Yuugo flinched, aware of the stiff, furious tone that went unheard. No lies would fill the gap between messages…Crow would see through them and only get more frantic for the truth…but the truth… Yuugo saw tears blur his vision again, and the uncontrollable shake returned to his hands.

It took twenty minutes to type what had happened that night, describing what an idiot he was for letting Rin get out of his sight, and how he was useless trying to save her from the cloaked figure. He barely filled in the blanks of his return home, and he scrambled to remember how exactly he had come to collapse on his bed in the dark, curled in pain beside his laptop.

Every word was an effort to get out, as he tried in vain to deny and forget everything he was saying. Rin was perfectly fine and well. She was in her room, sound asleep… She was somewhere in another dimension, in the claws of a terrible villain… _She was alone and scared, and he might never see her again._ The truth wouldn’t stay away from Yuugo. It was right before his eyes and beneath his fingers as he typed out each wretched fact. It was even in his tears as they soaked his face and sleeve, and hindered all progress with the need to wipe them away.

But when he finally hit enter, and sent the message, he felt even more terrible knowing what Crow’s reaction would be._ ‘Why didn’t you stay with her, Yuugo?!’_ he imagined the Blackwing duelist saying, _‘How could you let something like this happen?!’ ‘How do you expect to find her now?! She could be dead for all we know!’_

Yuugo heavily sank to his side, only half-watching the computer. Rin was gone. Those three words echoed endlessly in his head. The bluenette buried his face into his arms, but the fact would not escape him. As much pain as he felt, he could only feel more terrible knowing that he’d just shared this horror with Crow. The Blackwing duelist cared about the girl, too, and now the happiness he’d shared with the kids, the ordinary day he’d had…Yuugo had just robbed all of it from him…

_‘Bloop.’_

There was no reaction. He knew what Crow had said, and he embraced that it was true. If he’d been just a bit faster, a bit stronger, and a bit less of an idiot, Rin wouldn’t be… Several option words flashed through his head. Dead, tortured, captured, _gone_. That was the safest one. Rin wouldn’t be gone.

_‘Bloop.’_

With a sniff, Yuugo blearily raised his head. Was Crow berating him again…? Why would he-

_‘Bloop.’_

There were three messages now, each one surprisingly short… As he crept closer, they slowly came into focus, and he could do nothing but stare in shock.

_“Don’t you give up on her, Yuugo. Don’t you give up on her for one minute. She’s a tough girl, and she’ll stay strong.”_

_“We’ll find her.”_

_“I don’t know how, but we’ll find her.”_

Yuugo stared at the words, speechless. Crow wasn’t angry…he was…hopeful. Another message appeared.

_“Oi! Yuugo! Talk to me! Let me know you’re still there!”_

_“I’m still here…”_ he quickly replied. But the words silently followed, _“I…I don’t know if I can go on like this… She’s gone…without a trace… She could be anywhere, with anyone.” _Steadily louder tears began to fill the quiet as the message continued, _“I don’t think I’ll ever see her again…and I can’t live without her… I’m just…scared…”_

The bluenette almost felt the firm hand clasp on his shoulder, almost saw the solemn stare connect, as Crow said through the screen, _“You can make it through this, Yuugo.”_

There was no reply for some time. Yuugo breathed shakily, drying his eyes once more. He’d try…but how could he manage without Rin, if… His thoughts trailed off and his expression turned to one of teary revelation.

_“Crow…”_ he typed slowly,_ “…I love her…”_

A second passed. Then two. Then he knew his friend was smiling softly as he responded with the last message of the night: _“All the more reason to find that girl and bring her back home. Rin won’t want you crying when she could be just fine. She could also be in danger, yeah, but you know her. You know she’s strong, and you know she’ll try to find you as hard as you’ll try for her. Now I want you to sleep on this. Then first thing in the morning, you go out there and give it your best shot to track down the guy who took her. But for now…you just rest, alright…?”_

The dim light closed slowly, and the computer was pushed to the end of the bed. Yuugo stared after it as he sank further into the bed’s surface…and in seconds, exhaustion overtook him. There were only two thoughts in his mind as he fell into sleep’s embrace. The image of Rin, smiling, laughing, encouraging him as she always did…and the other…

‘_Arigato…Crow…’_


	2. Chapter 2

Yuugo stared aimlessly into the ashen gray skies of the ruined city, slumped forward over his motorcycle in an uncomfortable position. From where he’d parked on top of a derelict skyscraper, he could see what felt like the entirety of this landscape-in-shambles. But through the murk of the silent streets, there was no sign of Rin’s bright smile, and no sound of her bright voice. Everything seemed so dark.

The gloom of the sunless sky diluted Yuugo’s normally vibrant appearance to the same dulled grey as his mood. His teal eyes slowly swiveled back into the alleyways below where he slouched, wondering through a haze of other thoughts, if what he was searching for was even here. After Clearwing launched him (and thankfully, his precious motorcycle) into this…wherever he was…he’d encountered who he thought was his target assailant: the one who took Rin. But his nerves had forced him to back off.

He sighed, combing his heavily gloved fingers through his hair. That guy…he’d had an uncannily similar face to his. The comparison wasn’t perfect, of course. Their hair… Yuugo pulled a few of his own blue strands into his peripheral vision… That guy’s hair was black and violet. But just meeting eyes with him, or _thinking_ about meeting eyes with him, sent a shiver through his body.

Whoever that guy was, he didn’t want to think about him. What he _did_ want to think about was Rin, and where she could possibly be. But his mind was drawing a blank. He’d looked across the city for hours after “parting ways” with his doppelganger, and there were no traces of Rin anywhere.

His arm fell to his motorcycle’s side, leaving his fingers to brush the concrete rooftop. He honestly hadn’t expected to find anything so soon, though a painful length of time had already passed. But at least he had a tiny spark of hope. This place was distant. So distant that he doubted he was even in the same universe. The people, the cities, the dueling…everything was different. And what better place to hide a prisoner like Rin, than in an obscure, hard-to-reach place like this?

“I’m coming for you, Rin…” Yuugo murmured aloud. No one answered him, and the city remained unmoving.

A dull throbbing in his chest reminded him of the stress that had plagued him for days, and, ignoring it for now, he shifted his head so that his right cheek was pressed against the leather of his bike. While lying in his still-uncomfortable position, he flipped out his phone.

The immediate screen, upon waking up, read _“no reception.”_

“Of course there’s no freakin’ reception…” he mumbled, “We’re in a different dimension. Isn’t that right, pal?”

Clearwing, from where it was nestled in the deck compartment of the motorcycle, gave no sign of reply.

Swiping past the notice, Yuugo began typing a text message to the only person he could vent to: Crow. Of course, as he tapped each letter, he knew full well that whatever he sent would not likely get through, but it was more for catharsis than communication.

_“Hey, Crow. How’re the kids?”_ he began simply, _“I’m worried about you guys. I guess I left in a bit of a hurry, but Clearwing didn’t give me much time to pack my bags.”_

The message sent, but he was already typing another. His heart twisted a bit at the thought of what exactly Crow and the kids were doing. Would they be sitting down to a somewhat-stolen dinner, or heading off to bed…or were they thinking of him and wondering where he was? A cold wind swept the rooftops of the city, causing Yuugo to square his shoulders against it. The thoughts of their faces, the absolute loneliness… The bluenette muddled through a sudden pang of homesickness as his second message was sent.

_“This place is really empty. It just…feels like it’s got no life left in it, you know? I’ve seen people before, one of them I dueled for a minute, but they certainly aren’t friendly, and I don’t think they’re who I’m looking for, either. To be honest, Crow, I don’t know who I’m looking for, but when I find them, I’ll make them give Rin back.”_

He paused, staring at the phone screen. There was no reply to either message. After several more seconds, and a tick of disappointment, he continued, _“I don’t know if I’m in the right place, but I think I’m on the right track. It feels good to be doing this. Even if it’s without her, I can’t complain. I’m doing it **for** her. That’s better than nothing, right? And she’s worth it.”_

Yuugo rolled onto his back, staring up into the slate-colored clouds, and set his phone down on the rooftop. For a minute, then two, his mind was blank, then thoughts gradually returned to it and his hand returned to combing his hair. He wondered quite literally, “What am I thinking?”

Though the stress of fruitless searching had taken a slight toll on his health (who needed sleep anyways?) he acknowledged that he was in much better shape now than he was earlier. No longer was it hard to breathe, and he could think about the details of Rin’s capture without crumbling to tears. That didn’t mean the pain was gone, but he was improving.

He quietly put one arm behind his head and picked up his phone again with the other to continue texting.

_“I’m doing okay, Crow, so don’t worry about me too much,”_ he typed, _“I guess it just feels good to be doing something instead of rotting in that room… You really helped me out. I appreciate it. I can see a lot clearer now, and I feel like Rin’s not being hurt, wherever she is. If she was in deep trouble, or if…”_ he hesitated, face creasing with nervous hesitance. He still wasn’t comfortable suggesting the idea, _“If…she’d been killed…I think I’d know, somehow. I’d have a much worse feeling than what I already have.”_

Yuugo re-read the message, then added onto it in an attempt to lighten the mood:

_“Maybe that bad feeling is just me being hungry, ha ha! The food kind of sucks here, but thankfully, I’m used to making due with scraps from back home, right?”_

Silently, he watched the unmoving phone screen, scrolling through the long line of text he’d sent…waiting for a reply… Disappointment bit at him when Crow remained silent. He’d predicted that no messages would go through, but still…he’d hoped…

Yuugo sighed and rolled back to being face-down.

Minutes passed in silence across the landscape. This place…this place was so strange…but Clearwing must be onto something if it had taken him here. The wind returned, sweeping smoothly over Yuugo’s leather-covered back, ruffling the yellow spikes of his hair. Finally sitting up straight, he texted one last message, _“I’m gonna find her, Crow. Don’t worry.”_ Then he put the phone away and grabbed his helmet off the back of the bike.

“Come on, Clearwing.” He said firmly, “Just one more search. She’s gotta be here…she’s gotta…”

Though the words felt right, and he brimmed with reassurance, Yuugo couldn’t stop a stab of loneliness from hitting his chest. Here he was in another world, with only a card to talk to. And Rin was still gone.

A blue visor was jammed over eyes already blurring with emotion, then throughout the ruined street, the whir of a motorcycle was softly heard. Then that, too, faded away, and the empty city was silent once more.

  



	3. Chapter 3

_“Hey, Crow! What’s up?”_

A leather boot on a crossed leg slowly tapped at the air to the tune of a breathy half-whistle. Blue and gold hair shone vibrantly under proper, cloudless, mid-evening sunlight. Yuugo leaned back further onto the bench as he continued texting with one hand.

_“Sorry I haven’t gotten back to you for a while, but I’ve been real busy since I got back in town.”_

“Town” was a term used loosely, the youth reflected, as he had only recently returned from two different dimensions. Clear Wing had taken him from the dank, ruined city to a world in an ice age, and now back home on the streets of his own universe. And he hadn’t come back alone.

Smiling wryly, Yuugo looked up from his phone and watched _her_. Yuzu was just across the street from the bench, pink hair glistening and slender arms stretching to put up another poster on the brick wall that sided the road. With a cute huff, straining on tip-toe, she finally got it to stick in place, and she dropped back onto her feet.

Yuugo didn’t hear the _‘bloop’_ of Crow’s reply. He couldn’t look away from her. Every move she made was both mesmerizingly beautiful, and laughably adorable. She spun on her heel to him for approval, her twin tails swirling briefly in front of her stunning eyes. Yuzu made a motion to the poster. Yuugo immediately gave her a thumbs-up.

A second, somewhat louder _‘bloop’_ turned him to his phone curiously.

_“No problem, Yuugo,”_ the first message read, _“I’ve been busy with guests here. Glad to know you’re back, though.”_

_“…Oi! You’re not vanishing again, are you?”_

Yuugo both smiled and flinched at the accusing tone of Crow’s words. It made sense. Upon his return to his own dimension, he’d come to discover that none of his lonesome messages from earlier had made it through. Explaining everything to Crow all over again, especially when he had no concrete proof, would be a hassle. So he’d simply left out the details of his departure, and allowed Crow to make his own assumptions. Besides, he had guests now, as he said. He didn’t need too much on his mind.

_“Yeah, yeah, I’m here, Crow. I just got distracted is all.”_ Yuugo sent the message, pleased to see his friend almost instantly replying.

_“Good to know! Geez, don’t scare me like that!”_ another message followed,_ “When you dropped off the radar like you did, I figured you were taking time for yourself, because of Rin… But you sound chipper today. Am I right? Or is this the other definition of ‘fine?’”_

There was a moment of quiet for Yuugo, but he still held a faint smile. Rin…yeah, he’d traveled all over the place, trying to find Rin, and was still empty-handed…but he was no longer worried about his best friend. Deep down, he was assured that she was out there, just waiting to be found.

_“I’m doing good, Crow,”_ he typed, _“Yeah, I **was **taking time out…but it was to find Rin. I haven’t found her just yet, but I know she’s gonna be okay when I catch up to her.”_ he paused, re-reading his own words, then added, _“What kinda guests have you got? Normally it’s just you, Shinji, and the kids, right? Must be a special occasion!”_

_“You could call it that.”_ Crow replied, and the nonchalant shrug in his text was evident, _“These guys were looking for a friend of theirs when the police started bothering them. I don’t know what the whole farce was about, but I dished them out, and they’re staying with us for a while.”_

Yuugo smiled widely again. That was nothing uncommon for Crow. The Blackwing duelist was always doing what he could to help out the Commons, even if it meant giving shelter to questionable characters.

_“Hey, that’s great of you, Crow.”_ He typed.

The snort in Crow’s next message wasn’t audible, but it was easily imagined: _“Don’t flatter me too much, I’m just being a decent guy. But you know, you really should stop by some time. It’s been ages since the kids saw you, and you’d probably like the guests we’ve got. I don’t want you being alone on the streets after what you’ve been through, alright?”_

_“Crow…”_ Yuugo let out a breathy chuckle, and began sheepishly combing through his hair. He was momentarily speechless by his senior’s caring. Crow really was there for him…and had been since he and Rin had first… He quietly went back to the message.

_“Geez, with a friend like you… Yeah, I know I need to see the kids, but I’ll get over there once I’ve got Rin, okay? Then we can both go together. Don’t worry about me being alone or anything, because I’m not.”_ The Synchro duelist’s heart swelled with contentment as he looked up at Yuzu again. She didn’t have to put up the last posters by herself, but she had insisted, and now the final one was going up on the wall, thanks to her hard work and kind heart.

He glanced down at his phone again, just as Crow’s next message appeared.

_“Yuugo, I know you love your motorcycle, but I don’t think it counts. Unless you picked up **human** company while you were out of town.”_

_“That’s what I meant,”_ he laughed, _“I…I met this girl just before I got back. She’s great, Crow, and she understands about me looking for Rin. She’s been real supportive. And that’s even after I pretty much got the cops on our tails.”_

When Crow didn’t reply at first, he looked up at Yuzu once more, feeling his heart warm against his chest. He kept typing everything he felt.

_“After I lost Rin, I felt like I’d be alone forever, even with you around. It was so empty, I thought I’d…I thought I’d just end it there... But it’s not like that anymore… When I’m around her, I don’t feel empty, or lonely at all. She’s kind, and caring, and tries to look out for me, even when she’s sad, too. She doesn’t let me give up, and seeing her smile…it’s the best thing there is… I’ve only just met her recently, and yet…she’s already done so much for me… She’s just great… Without her, who knows where I might be or what I might have done. But you got me on my feet, and out the door to meet her, Crow, and I owe you for that. But she’s helping me keep it together so I can look for Rin, now, and I don’t have to bother you for my worries anymore.”_

The warmth in his heart spread to a thin blush on his face when Yuzu sat down on the bench beside him, leaning back against his outstretched arm with a contented pant. Her radiant, half-lidded eyes turned to him, graced by the setting sun, and the faint smile on her smooth face.

“It looks like we’re all done here,” she said with a happy sigh, “Should we head back now? Or-“

“No, not yet!” Yuugo hurried to say, “You did great, and you more than earned a bit of rest, yeah? Cool off for a minute and then we’ll go.”

Yuzu conceded with a weary nod and a kitten-like yawn. She curled somewhat into the corner of the bench, and let her eyes rest. Shortly after she did, a new reply from Crow appeared.

_“Hey, I’m happy for you, Yuugo. She sounds like a pretty good friend to me, if what you say is true.”_

_“She is. You’d like her.”_ Yuugo smiled, _“She’s a lot like Rin.”_

The bluenette’s smile curiously slipped away. He repeated the words in his head: “She’s a lot like Rin.” The smile turned into a frown, and his heart began pounding. Teal eyes, slowly widening, swiveled suddenly to Yuzu’s face. She wasn’t a lot like Rin. She was exactly like Rin.

The way she smiled, the way she laughed, the way she pouted and huffed…the sunny outlook and the motherly care…every way she acted towards him was identical to Rin’s behavior. But as the realization sank in further, Yuugo’s blood ran cold. It went much deeper than that. He studied her closely, mind racing.

Her face was like Rin’s, and her bright eyes, even closed, were the same. When she talked, she talked like Rin. Her words and mannerisms, and the hands-on-hips gesture that followed her pouts, were exactly what Rin used to do to him when he wouldn’t cooperate… She looked after him like Rin did. She was as friendly towards him as Rin was. She walked, breathed, sounded, looked, and acted like Rin… But there was more.

Yuugo’s heart wasn’t just racing with terror at this point. Every pounding beat against his chest ached with his feelings for Yuzu… The contentment that filled him when he was beside her and the happiness that had been their afternoons and evenings, now felt alien and wrong. But he couldn’t stop feeling the desire to be with her, no matter how hard he choked it down. He couldn’t even bear to move away from her on the bench. His fear was weak.

Trembling, Yuugo watched Yuzu sleepily nuzzle against his arm, and he was ashamed of the blush that hit his pale skin. There was no resisting his heart, and he gradually knew why, clearer and clearer. Because it wasn’t wrong. She was just like her…

He loved Yuzu…because she was Rin…

The bluenette sank his head into his hands, hiding in vain from his emotions. He’d said he loved Rin, and he still did. He knew he did with all his heart… Only, his heart had found a new Rin.

The last several days with Yuzu came crashing down on his shoulders. The blinding relief of seeing "Rin’s" face through his tinted visor struck his heart, followed by the dark disappointment of looking with his own eyes, and seeing pink hair instead of green. How had he not seen it then, that they were still the same? When the police sirens lit the air and they took off together, how had the passion of the ride kept him from asking why he so readily let this girl wear Rin’s helmet, and take Rin’s seat on the duel cycle he and Rin built together? Why had none of the signs occurred to him until just now? Now that he knew everything he felt was fake. Could he look her in the eye knowing that? That the smiles he’d given her were lies, because he loved her like he loved someone else?

His gloves clenched roughly at his hair, and his eyes stared blankly at the asphalt between his feet. Another question came to his mind: If he managed to fight through the falseness of his feelings, and love Yuzu regardless…how would he ever think of Rin again…? Would he still look for her her…? Would he lose motivation to find her? He didn’t want to be content. He didn’t want the happiness he’d been given.

In that instant, Yuugo would have given anything for the agony of 2am, that day he first lost Rin. At least then, the pain had driven him into longing for her…but now… Tears finally sprang to his eyes when he realized he hadn’t searched for Rin once since he met Yuzu. Not for real, anyways. Maybe he kept glancing at alleys when he passed them by, but any concern he felt for the greenette he loved was always erased by another enjoyable day with the new Rin: The replacement.

_‘Bloop.’_

Yuugo was brought from his panic with a jolt, to stare at his phone…and see the long list of messages he hadn’t heard from Crow. That made him realize but one thing: he needed Crow. Uncertainty and guilt bit at him cruelly as he picked up the phone, and began to type. Had he not just told Crow that he didn’t need to bother him anymore? But this was about Rin…this was about so much more than Rin…this was more important than anything else.

_“Crow…”_ he typed slowly, _“I need to talk to you, badly…it’s about Rin…and…I’m scared…”_ He fought his shaking hands to add, _“I’m scared to death, and I don’t know what to do… You’re the only one I know I can turn to…”_

He slowly began to continue the message, unsure exactly of how he should say what he felt…at this point, unsure of how he _did_ feel, and for who… But a reply from Crow appeared before he could finish, and he curiously cleared his typing.

_“Sorry, Yuugo, I’ve gotta run. I’ll catch up with your messages later.”_

Then nothing. Eyes wide, Yuugo watched a notice appear on his screen…one he’d never seen before in his life…

_“Crow is now Offline.”_

The silence was like being shot in the chest. Crow was gone. The last tower he’d had to cling to, had just fallen… Nothing was resolved, nothing was answered. Rin was gone, and Yuzu was steadily filling her place… Yuugo’s world was crumbling around him, and he was dying in it.

Behind those long, blue bangs, no passersby saw the anguish in his face, nor the tears that hit the sidewalk. But by the same token, as Yuugo wordlessly clutched his phone, sobbing in silence, he never thought to read the messages he’d missed from Crow. If he had…things would have turned out differently…

_“Our guests are looking for a friend of theirs named Yuzu. Maybe you’ve seen her?”_

  



	4. Chapter 4

_“And the King himself, Jack Atlas, is even here! His dueling really is just as amazing as we dreamed it was…”_ a soft, passionate smile showed in the dim light, _“So, as you now know, it’s been a crazy time since that night. Sorry it took a while to get you caught up on it all… I’m thinking of you, Rin.”_

Yuugo leaned further over his motorcycle, texting with both hands in the cool recesses beneath the stadium. The D-Wheeler beneath him was already started up and purring. Now all that was left was to wait and get called for his duel. And since there would be some time before that happened…

He continued to stare through the blue glass in his helmet at the words that marched across his phone.

_“I’m sorry I can’t go searching for you again just yet. I’ve always got an eye and an ear out for you here…but…let’s just say my phone doesn’t think you’re in the dimension anymore.”_ He blinked forlornly at the pile of unsent messages. Nothing would go through, even when he was home, _“So I guess I’m stuck here until Clearwing decides to throw me for a loop again. That guy sure can be stubborn sometimes. But that guy who looks like me might have a way back out of this dimension. It’s just a hunch, but anything’s worth a try, right?”_

He tapped “send,” staring after the greyed-out words. That one didn’t go through, either. With a sigh, he sat up straight and nearly went to comb through his hair before he remembered he was wearing his helmet.

“Ah…right…” he settled for fingering the loose strand of blue that hung below his chin, and as he did, he went over in his mind all that he’d told to Rin. He’d talked about Crow and the kids, assuring her that they were doing alright. Crow was even in the Friendship Cup with him, and he’d laughed that he wouldn’t care to face his senior in battle. He’d briefly mentioned his search for her in other dimensions, and later included details such as how their motorcycle was faring, and how much he wished to see her again…

His heart felt heavy with melancholy as he scrolled back through his messages. What would she say if she could read these…?

Though his face had slipped into a frown, it gently turned to a saddened smile. He’d thought about texting Crow, just so he could have some communication between them, but he was sure that if the contestants were being secluded from one another as it was, then any attempts at conversation would be blocked. Besides…what his heart needed at the moment wasn’t a friend… He could confide in Crow, for sure…but telling Crow how he felt about Rin wouldn’t let Rin know…and he felt she deserved to know…

It didn’t hurt to talk to her. Not the same way it had to think of her before. Right now…his heart only ached because of one thing…one thing he hadn’t told Rin… Yuugo let out a deep breath, and slowly, calmly, began to type…

_“Rin…when Clearwing was taking me to different worlds…I met another girl… She’s just like you, Rin… Or, I thought she was. She looks identical to you, except for the hair of course. No one would have hair as weird and green as yours.”_ He smiled, pausing for a moment as the words tried to send. He remembered his and Rin’s childhood, when he’d tease her for that impossibly green hair of hers. Deep down, the child in him expected a tease back for his own hair looking like bananas. But there was no reply, and he didn’t hesitate to continue any longer:

_“She acts like you too, you know. She sure pouts at me enough, and worries over me whenever I’m being an idiot. And sometimes when I’m not.”_ Rin’s playful voice echoed in his memories, “You’re always an idiot,” and he smiled once more, _“You don’t need to worry about me, because she looks out for me. Even though we can’t be together for the Friendship Cup, I get to see her amazing dueling, and I know…I know it’ll all be alright._”

Another deep breath filled the quiet. Yuugo took off his helmet, setting it aside while his own eyes softly read his next words.

_“I love her, Rin. You deserve to know that. And I’m sorry that I do, because I feel like I’ve wronged you. You never wanted to be taken away, and in your absence, she stepped into my heart to fill that place. But…she can’t…and she won’t. I can’t ever love her as much as I love you, Rin. I thought you two were the same, and when she came into my life, I was scared she’d replace you. I loved her because she was you, right? But…that’s not right at all. She may have your eyes, and she may have your mannerisms, but the one thing she doesn’t have is my memories with you. And those can never be replaced…”_

A pause settled between the messages, then without a sound, Yuugo carried on, his heart speaking for him now.

_“Do you remember how we grew up on the streets together? We went hungry so many nights, and we never had anything to smile about, but at least we had each other. We made it through so much just knowing that. And do you remember when I got sick stealing that food for us in the cold rain, and you took care of me for days…even when I kept getting worse and worse… Crow found us that day, and helped us because you asked him to. I’d never forget that. And I’d never forget the long months we spent gathering parts for the D-Wheeler, or the long nights we spent putting it together one screw at a time…and whenever I fell asleep at it, I’d wake up and find out you’d done most of the work, and left me with your jacket so I wouldn't be cold. I’m sure you remember our first ride out into the city, and how the lights of the Tops seemed so close and amazin_g…

_“All of those…and so much more, really…are memories I hold very dear…they’re all memories of you, Rin… I don’t have memories like that with Yuzu. And that’s why… Everything you are is something that I love…but I don’t love you just because you’re pretty…or because of your soft eyes, or your sweet laugh. It’s not just for your compassion, or how much you mother me… It’s because we’ve been through it all together: good times and bad, joy and heartbreak, amazement and discovery, understanding and trust… It’s because I’ve loved you for so long, and for so many reasons…and because you’re so much more than her…that Yuzu will never fill the space for you in my heart. She’s not complete, and she never will be…because she isn’t you…and the one I love, and have loved all my life, is Rin.”_

The words scrolled on in passionate confidence, backed by one young man’s true feelings.

_“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you that night, Rin. I’m sorry I’ve never been able to do much of anything for you. You’ve always been the caretaker, and I’ve only caused trouble for both of us. And for that, I don’t think I can ever apologize enough. So instead of trying to make amends, I’m going to try and find you. Every moment without you is memories we’ll never have together… For now, I’ll hold onto the moments we’ve had. And I promise you, Rin. I will find you.”_

Send.

Yuugo quietly put away his phone, and took his helmet once more…but as he stared into the glass visor at his own image, he couldn’t help but smile a little wider. There were no tears.

Blue hair flattened once more beneath the smooth helmet. A voice shouted to him that his match was going to start. The announcer lady began the duelists’ introductions. He paid them little attention.

‘Besides…’ he reflected softly, ‘Yuzu will be alright. She has _him_.’ The girl’s passionate speech in her duel came to Yuugo’s mind, and he laughed at how content he was, knowing who her words were for, ‘She’ll be happy…’

His and Rin’s D-Wheeler revved up its engine, and he let his heart race now. So much was off his shoulders and his mind…thinking of Rin…hoping to find her…Yuzu’s found love… Everything felt so right this way. For one who had felt so much turmoil, and been broken so badly, Yuugo could finally be at peace, and he could finally do Rin’s beloved motorcycle a little justice with a clear mind.

“Alright alright alright alright!” he grinned, “The moment I’ve been waiting for is finally here! Watch this, Rin. I’ll definitely win, and do you proud!”

The light at the end of the tunnel brightened. The audience roared in delight. The engine of one lovingly made machine spurred into high gear. A duel began, and not one tear was left behind.  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has the highest pain content out of all of them. You have been warned.

Pale white porcelain slipped between slender fingers…then fell…then tumbled softly, silently, through the air… The bowl broke violently when it touched the floor, hurling shards of its body in all directions. Yuugo didn’t flinch when they grazed his leg, nor when the sound of the shatter pierced his ears.

The screen before him filled with smoke, fire, and cracked glass, as a shaky helicopter camera attempted to near the scene of the tragedy. It could never go close enough.

“Hiiragi Yuzu flew out of the duel lane and seems to have crashed into a nearby building!” the announcer on the television wailed. The words fell on deaf ears.

No pink hair - nor even a mangled motorcycle - was visible through the spewing cloud. There was no sight of her…no movement…no signs that the crash and following explosion hadn’t just ended a life.

“Y…Yuzu…” he choked.

Yuugo’s hands clenched to fists when trembles began to wrack his body. His eyes desperately searched the screen. Where was she? _Where was she?_ He pleaded in his mind, again and again, for something he knew he couldn’t have: her safety.

‘_Just please find her…please help her…’_

Seconds passed by like dripping ice…but no one moved. The announcer shouted in worry, describing the obvious devastation…but the audience didn’t even look her way…they all stared at Yuzu’s opponent, rendered speechless by his cruelty…

_But what about Yuzu?_

Yuugo fought back a sob as it dawned on him. No one would help her. Commons and Tops alike saw their city through black and white eyes. Even if Yuzu was injured, even if fire ate at her skin, or if she begged for help through the noxious smoke - he flinched at the thought, and couldn’t stop tears from springing to his eyes - no one would help her, because she had still lost… To them, she was as good as dead already…

But no…he wouldn’t believe that… With a surge of desperation, he stood up, searching…searching…for _any_ kind of movement in the destroyed building. There _was_ movement. His eyes widened at the flash within the shroud of smoke. A moment later, that flash turned to an eruption of blazing fire. The camera shook…and so did Yuugo’s resolve.

He collapsed back into a sitting position, his fingers clenching his knees to keep from ripping at his hair. Fire…there was just…so much fire…no one would help… His heart beat painfully against his ribs as denial slowly left him. Yuzu…Yuzu was… _No…!_

Yuugo couldn’t bear to think it…couldn’t face it…couldn’t imagine if she was… Hastily, he shut himself away from the thought, and wiped away his tears. The tournament…there was still the tournament…! She wanted to win! She wanted to win and spread news of the interdimensional war!

“Yuzu…” he breathed shakily, his determination strengthening, “Leave the rest to me…! I will inherit your will…!”

It took several seconds for him to hear his own words…then it all sank in, and his resolve came tumbling down.

Yuzu was dead.

Yuugo crumbled, falling back onto his bed, and barely catching himself with one arm. At first, it was only a single sob that wracked his form, but the trembling of his pain took hold, and his fragile heart, taped together by promises and bliss, broke itself to pieces.

Cries of despair wavered weakly in the quiet of the room while unspoken, and all too familiar questions, ravaged Yuugo’s mind.

_Why couldn’t I save her? Why wasn’t I there for her? Why didn’t I predict this? How can I go on without her?_

Between gasps of streaming tears, Yuugo’s trembling body could only manage one name, spoken so lovingly, and so mournfully, as if it were Rin’s: _“…Yuzu…!”_

Yuzu was dead. She died alone in a burning heap, in pain and unable to breathe. The ones who could save her didn’t, and the ones who couldn’t wished in vain for her survival with all their might. But she was gone now. Desperately clinging to the notion that maybe she’d died on impact, and hadn’t suffered, did nothing to ease the pain. In fact, when Yuugo realized once more the ease at which he accepted the truth of Yuzu’s death, his agony started anew.

He’d given up on her so quickly… _Just like he’d given up on Rin._

The electronics in his room likewise gave in. To conserve electricity, the forgotten television powered down, and the overhead lights dimmed to nothing to leave him be. And as he fought with his emotions, and repeated his guilt in his mind, he didn’t notice.

Yuzu was dead.

Darkness covered the broad bay windows like a heavy coating of black crayon, the only indication that several hours had just passed. Yuugo lay silent, too exhausted to cry, or to even feel pain at this point. His glazed blue eyes stared listlessly at the opposing wall.

But even in his weary state of mind, he could still see…see her swirling pink pigtails and stunning, sky-blue eyes… His memory still felt the warm nuzzle of her soft skin against his arm, and again he heard the melodious rise and fall of her voice. The only thoughts in his head were of the time he’d spent with Yuzu…and with a sudden pang to interrupt his numbness, he realized how much he wished there was more…more memories, more moments, more of her sunny smiles and kind words… More _Yuzu_…

‘_And what else?’_ he couldn’t help but ask himself,_ ‘More time to warn her? More time to protect and save her?’_ No…he couldn’t have saved her…and that was his mistake…that was _always_ his mistake… He’d lost Rin the exact same way. Because he didn’t know, because he didn’t _think_ that this precious friend would be in any danger…because he’d never considered that Yuzu would lose…

Silent tears sprang to his staring eyes. He was such an idiot…and now, much unlike his last mistake, there was no repairing this…

The numbness was fading now…Yuugo finally realized his heart was throbbing, and his chest spiked with agony as if he was the one in the fatal crash, not Yuzu. He bit back a sudden, wrenching sob.

_Yuzu…_ Why of _anyone_ did it have to be Yuzu…? Blearily fighting down his new tears, Yuugo could only think of how innocent she was. People would lose and people would win in this city, and no matter how wrong it was, Yuugo had still accepted it, ever since he and Rin were children. But Yuzu didn’t _lose_…she… Images of the flaming building returned to his mind, and the tears at last broke free in silence… Yuzu had never hurt anyone…she was innocent, selfless, and loving…and the city just watched her burn…

White-gloved hands were pulled into motion for the first time in hours, to clutch shakily at disarrayed strands of blue-gold hair. But in the midst of it all, Yuugo managed an outward sniffle and an inward laugh.

Yuzu really was like Rin, wasn’t she…? She met him, took care of him, and then he let her slip out of his grasp for one moment, and she met a terrible end…and he’d give anything to hold her again… But…that wasn’t the right thing to think… Wryly enough, he reminded himself that he’d already given up Yuzu… Ironic, how he’d distanced himself from her right before the tragedy, as if he somehow knew this would happen… Cheerless laughter escaped him. If that was the case, then the burden of mourning for her had been passed on to Yuya, and he shouldn’t even be crying…

The laughter slowly died, and the agony in his chest began throbbing steadily faster. Yuya…what about Yuya…? He’d have to have seen the match, too…

Thoughts of Yuzu’s impassioned speech for the red and green-haired duelist filled his memory. She’d loved him…and now… Yuugo’s own pain fell out of the foreground, if only momentarily… Yuya must be dying inside…

Silence crept back into the room as Yuugo shifted lightly onto one arm, eyes widely staring at nothing. Rin’s disappearance destroyed him…what would he have felt if he knew for sure she was dead…? Was that what Yuya was going through…? Would he shatter the same way…?

A new lance of pain struck Yuugo deeply, and he physically cringed at it. How could he think that he was the only one in this forsaken city to _care_ about Yuzu…? But in the nothingness of that dark room, Yuugo felt as if beyond these mourning walls, there _was_ no city. There was nothing. There certainly wasn’t Yuzu… He shivered inwardly at the thought of facing anything out in the world that had taken her away…but hadn’t he felt so much of the same for Rin…? Hadn’t he wished his life was over? And…hadn’t Crow…kept him from falling to pieces…? Yuya didn’t have Crow, and in that respect, Yuugo saw him as far unluckier than any starving Commons. Yuya was alone with his pain.

Quiet resolution settled on Yuugo’s aching mind. But Crow had felt pain that night, too. Crow had watched Rin grow up, and took her under his wing…he cared just as much as Yuugo, except he didn’t give into his own suffering… He’d put it all aside to make sure another’s pain was eased… Crow was selfless…and that had made all the difference.

The heavy, despairing darkness upon the room lifted, and the gentle glow of a phone screen replaced it.

Only dully seeing, and mentally exhausted from his grieving, Yuugo managed to scroll down his list of contacts, and found the one number he’d been most proud of himself for getting: Yuzu’s. But he couldn’t feel any of that pride or excitement now…now it seemed so wrong to be doing this…but he barely knew Yuya. This was the only way. Yuugo reflected, that if Yuya lived up to Yuzu’s impassioned speech, he’d go into that building and find her himself, where no one else would...and he prayed her phone would still be intact…

He tapped the contact, and began to type.

“Yuya…if you’re reading this…you found her…and if you’re blaming yourself for what happened…don’t… It’s my fault…” A soft exhale accompanied the quiet tap of leather gloves on the phone, “We haven’t really met…not for very long, anyways…but you’ll know me now for being the one who let Yuzu down…and…I’m sorry more than any words can say…because Yuzu was my friend, too…

But I took her to this dimension by accident…and I let her out of my sight because I didn’t think about it…and now… All this has happened because of my own stupidity and mistakes… I don’t want you to feel guilt. You weren’t the one who did this to Yuzu... In fact, you did more for her than anyone… She went through rough times with me, and she didn’t deserve any of what she got from that experience…but she stayed strong because she kept thinking of you…because she wanted to meet with you again… I’d rather die twice than have to face the fact that…she never did…”

One by one, teardrops hit the screen, pooling together to magnify each word.

“I know it’s not my place to say, but by the way she spoke in her duel…the way she spoke to you…she loved you… For a long time, that was something I envied, but when I look at it clearly, no one else was meant for her but you. She dueled for you, she smiled for you, and she felt that love of you for all the right reasons… I couldn’t feel the same love for her…”

Teal eyes stared lifelessly at the lines, reading them again, before any more damage could be done. Their owner didn’t make a sound, but continued with heavy limbs, and a heart that could never heal from this much truth.

_“Yuzu was my precious friend for the short time I knew her…she gave me something when I feel like I had nothing at all… But it wasn’t right…and I let go of her…so she could be with you… I wanted her to be. With you, she was happy, and didn’t have to force her beautiful laughs…with you, she didn’t cry…with you, she was safe… But I took all that away, and there’s no repairing what I’ve done… I feel dead inside…but I acknowledge that I’ve only got a fraction of your own pain…no apology or action on earth will fix that… So I’m only telling you this, Yuya, to save yourself from the pain: Know how much you meant to her…treasure the memories you had with her…know that she’s safe from any mortal toil the world can throw at her…and know that I’m the reason she’s dead…_

_"I don’t want you to be guilty, Yuya…nor do I want you to suffer and mourn in sadness… I know what kind of pain that brings, and I won’t let that torture happen to the one Yuzu loved… No…I want you to be angry… If hating me for everything I’ve done will abide your pain, then despise me. If avenging sweet Yuzu will bring you solace, then come at me,” _fingers trembled, struggling to type,_ “If you burn so much that you want me dead, then I’ll be waiting for you. Because of my mistakes, Yuzu’s dead…what punishment is there I don’t deserve?”_

“Send” was quietly tapped, and a moment later, the light went out in the world of that room. Yuugo tossed his phone an arm-length’s away on the bed, then merely gave up any resistance and sank into the sheets. His bleary eyes still met the darkness of the mourning walls, but at this point, they were all but dead. He couldn’t feel emotion anymore.

Maybe that was for the best… The eyes gradually slid shut. Faint breathing began to deepen. Exhaustion finally overtook Yuugo, and he fell asleep. But his numbness did not follow. His unconscious mind was bathed in searing, biting fire that ripped the leather from off his skin. Pressing metal was mercilessly stabbed through him in speeding shards that dug agonizingly deep into his bones, and masses of it crushed his limbs to the breaking point. His cries came in silence, and fear penetrated his core, as there was no air…only metallic, acrid smoke that forced itself into his lungs and raked them with pain…

Only then, did he realize…this was how Yuzu died…and only then, he awoke with a scream of pain. Tear-filled eyes stared widely ahead, seeing nothing, but finally feeling everything…all of it came crashing down at once in the darkness of the small room…

The sound of tears and agonizing loss drifted through the lonely expanse of shadow…a shattered heart joined a broken mind in grieving themselves to sleep…and somewhere nearby, a disturbed phone read the time:

2AM.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning for slight masochism. Probably not close enough to be labelled self-harm, but Yuugo is really beating himself up this chapter.

Shrieking tires ripped through the lonesome cityscape, eating the cement lengths of road like a wild beast. The pale shape left only a blurred light trailing in the air, and a muted hum in the walls of the dilapidated buildings that lined the Commons.

Driving with little concern for safety, Yuugo’s eyes were everywhere but the road. Instead, his dilated gaze snatched glances of the entire nighttime city: every cracked building, every narrow alley, even the starry Tops highways far above his head.

‘_Where __**was**__ he…?’_

He jerked his motorcycle around a right turn in the empty streets, nearly clipping the brick corner, but barely caring. That vile piece of trash, who stole away Rin, had to be caught fast before he slithered out of his grasp once more. In a way, he’d already halfway caught him. He’d finally gotten a good look at that familiar face, that putrid _smirk_, and he’d never forget it again. But it was nowhere to be found. There wasn’t a trace of the sickly smile, the slick, orchid locks of hair, nor the piercing, hollow gaze.

Instead, the whole of the world was an unyielding blue behind his visor, a silent, lifeless place colored a thousand shades of denim, cerulean, and cornflower. The chill colors were only masking the blood red rage he was blinded by.

The motorcycle again rounded a corner, and it took a heartbeat for Yuugo to realize he was facing a dead end. The speeding vehicle was pulled up off its front wheel, and after skidding sideways in its rearing pose, he spun it around and let gravity slam it back into the ground. Yuugo grit his teeth against the impact, but paid the jolting pain no mind, as the tires caught onto the pavement again and launched forward. He had to find a new path.

The near-crash was never on his mind. If he had barreled straight into the wall, he likely would have died in a blazing fire, an ironic and well-deserved end, considering the weight of his failures. Rin’s face was clear in his mind as he sped down the streets to the harbor, and though he didn’t acknowledge it at the time, Yuzu was likewise in his thoughts. If he’d survived the crash, he’d merely be short one motorcycle. Walking would be slow and inconvenient. Injuries? They wouldn’t matter.

Very few things mattered to Yuugo at the time. Anyone could understand that, taking into account his reckless, blazingly fast driving, his darting, paranoid eyes, and his vicious, beastly expression. But the few things that he could muster up the thought to care about, could be easily condensed into one sentence:

He had to find _that guy._

The one who took Rin away…the one who harmed Rin…the one who worried Crow, and robbed the orphans of their big sister. Though as much as Yuugo enveloped himself with the thought of finding the malicious lookalike, and beating the ever-living daylights out of him, the majority of his anger…was all for himself…

Who was it who let this piece of trash take Rin? Who was it who didn’t protect her? Who was it who let him get away? It was the same one who didn’t look for Rin, who cheated on her, who let her kidnapper get away…_twice_.

That, moreso than the urgency of the situation, was the reason for his driving. As he drifted a corner, the nearly sideways wheels of his ride clipped several trashcans and hurled them backwards in a cacophony of crashing metal. Papers and dust took flight in his wake, twirling in the faint, humming light. And with every jarring turn and careless collision, Yuugo’s face silently twisted in pain. The intensity of the nighttime ride would’ve shaken someone with lesser resolve, but in his current state of mind, he couldn’t afford to be affected by the rough treatment his body was getting. If it got him there faster, he welcomed it.

It would’ve been funny in a situation where he had time to reflect, and spend his thoughts on anything but the face of one familiar devil. Yuugo had made very few plans in life, but they were the ones that mattered. Among these plans was _not_ losing Rin. And neither was becoming a masochist. Yet here he was, throwing his health to the wind in a vain attempt to scale the mountain of mistakes he’d forged.

Perhaps the only thing keeping him from getting hurt, the only thing that made him steer away from that dead end, was a precious sliver of hope… Hope of seeing Rin again. The pain of thinking of her was so much sharper, so much more _real, _because she was so _close_. He’d tried to suppress his longing to be with her for so long, and he’d tried to be content with her absence for the time being. But that was when he had no clue, no lead, to her whereabouts.

Speeding along the straightaway beside the ocean harbor, Yuugo almost closed his eyes, sinking briefly into a rush of memories. The glint of Rin’s pearly smile, the echo of her clear, crystalline laugh…even the silky feel of her luscious, apple-green hair returned to him, and each memory drove him along faster and faster still… But his eyes became more focused, his driving steadier…

‘_Come on, you’ve gotta stay in one piece if you want to find Rin. Get ahold of yourself…’_

With a small huff, Yuugo tried to take his own advice to heart. Effective as it was, to think of being with Rin again, of holding her and hearing her, and knowing she’s alright, it was still easier thought than done. The blood-red rage still boiled up inside him, causing a beastly twitch in his expression, then a sharp hitch in his breathing. No amount of blinking would clear the crimson from his vision, as it steadily overtook the calming blue.

It was nearly impossible to think of Rin (or why he was racing around to begin with) without thinking of her kidnapper, and his anger persisted…no…it _lived._ Somewhere deep in the back of his throat, his fury was burning, snapping, clawing its way into his mouth, trying to growl and roar, while that tiny scrap of hope yanked it down by its leash, choking it into silence. Yuugo’s mouth kept firmly shut, pulled back into a grimace as the end of the harbor came into distant view.

_He_ wasn’t here. Yuugo glanced ahead to the hill of shipping equipment left discarded, then jerked his head to the streets and buildings on his left. Somewhere over there, maybe…? He looked each alleyway up and down as he flew by, sparing a glance up at the nearest highway ahead of him. Then he looked again, gaze riveted.

A flash of violet, a cape - he was sure of it - fluttering over a small car as it drove by far overhead. The blue visor finally failed. The dark city turned a searing vermilion in Yuugo’s eyes, as he kicked his motorcycle into full throttle, and the leash broke.

A roar of fury ripped loose into the night, and if anyone in the city void of life had turned to the cry, they would have seen a flash of white vault off a makeshift ramp in a pile of discarded equipment. It was much more likely that Yuugo’s presence was noticed on the highway, as he landed between two cars with an ear-splitting screech of metal. Immediately, the motorcycle shot off along the center line between the lanes.

The pale D-wheel wove past trucks and around delivery vans, speeding then slowing to get through. Yuugo’s eyes took in the sight of every car around him, desperately darting.

‘_Not that one, not that one, almost, no, so close…come on, you’re so close! Where is it?!’_

But there was no violet flicker atop any of these cars, nor, as he looked ahead and realized, any of the others. Yuugo’s pounding heartbeat slowed. The motorcycle slowed. _He_ was gone. He’d gotten away again.

  


The moon hung lower in the sky now, as the pale, humming motorcycle slowed to a halt in the middle of the Commons once more. A roar of frustration shook the city.

Yuugo combed through his hair furiously with one hand, gripping his helmet with the other. Bit by bit, his gritted teeth loosened, and he slumped over his ride, his cheek pressed against the cool metal. What had even happened? Had he only imagined that violet shape? Or had his target really gotten away a third time?

The silence of the night gave as much of an answer as it always did, and with a sharp sigh, he sat back up. With the action of the chase long gone, his anger was content to simmer. He had too many other emotions to deal with to be angry. Disappointment weighed him down, pressing his back into a slouch and smothering him. Yet, the longing for what he nearly regained quavered within the pieces of his poorly-repaired heart, and guilt prickled and bit at him beneath his skin.

It was guilt that won out, causing Yuugo to lift the familiar phone screen to his eyes, and run the opposite hand through his pointed hair. How many times had he run off without telling Crow what was going on? At least twice since Rin had disappeared, and two times too many. The text screen appeared. The message began simply.

_“Crow, I’m sorry. Again. You keep telling me to use my head before I go running off someplace, and I haven’t taken that advice in a long while. If I used my head enough to tell you what’s going on, then maybe…”_ he looked up at the towering buildings and sighed, _“Maybe I wouldn’t be alone all the time, and you’d be with me. Maybe I wouldn’t fail so much, with your help… That being said, I need to tell you…I found the guy who kidnapped Rin.”_

Yuugo bit his lip, his left fingers halting their hair-combing, while his right hand continued to text.

_“Seeing him made me think this would all be easy. It made me forget how hard the search had been before… And I guess…it made believe…I would find her…that she’d be there with him. So when I chased after him, whether I knew it or not, I just hoped beyond all hope that he’d lead me to her… He didn’t.”_

A bitter laugh touched the air. Yuugo only had to think for a moment before typing more.

_“It’s so within my nature now to make mistakes, that I’m not sure I should be surprised I let them both slip away. But this was important. I could’ve found Rin, and one way or another, I didn’t. Even though I want to see her so bad…-”_

His breath hitched, his eyes lingering over the sentence. He backspaced it, correcting one vital fact…

_“Even though I need to see her so bad…getting her back isn’t just for my own benefit… She’s my friend, but she just as much belongs to you, and the kids, and all the Commons who love her and need her as much as we do… She’s part of all of our lives, and her loss resonates in all of our hearts… That’s why I’m so sorry I had to let everyone down, not just myself.”_

Silence passed over the street, and half-lidded blue eyes stared at the message without result. A minute went by, Yuugo combed and pulled at his moon-washed hair…then finally with a sigh of uncertainty, he pressed “send.”

The bluenette leaned back over his motorcycle, staring at his phone at arm’s length. The message buffered gray, as of yet unable to send. He set it down on the sidewalk with a heavy breath.

The silence of the city made the world feel like a lonelier place. Yuugo stared off listlessly, aware of only the smooth metal he lay on, and the empty space around him. He blinked slowly, considering letting his eyes drift close and stay there. Where did he go now? What could he do?

Sighing softly to no one, Yuugo turned his weary gaze to the unyielding night sky.

‘_Where are you, Rin…? Where has he taken you…?’_

For once, the night responded. Somewhere in the indigo depths of the sky’s galaxy clusters, a light twinkled, then suddenly speared across the horizon. Yuugo’s eyes grew wide as he watched it breathlessly. Then just as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone. The lone bluenette sat up to stare at the place it had vanished. A minute passed, then two. All the while, that ember of hope inside him burned with a strengthening light. Yuugo picked up his phone again, and slowly began a second message to Crow.

_“Hey, when we were young…what was it you said about shooting stars? Wasn’t it something like, if they weren’t just satellites burning up in the atmosphere, then they’d grant you a wish? Any wish you wanted? I’m not sure I believe in that kid stuff anymore, but I know what I’d wish for if I did. Maybe it’ll give me good luck in finding her. If not, then all it did was remind me all that I’d do to have her back. But even that much is enough.”_

The sleek white helmet was pressing down blue-blonde locks of hair, even as the message continued with one hand.

_“He’s still out there somewhere. That’s all that matters to me right now. I’ll check the highways again, if that’s where you want to come looking for me. Crow, I’m not coming home until I find him. He’s our only hope in finding Rin. You’ll hear from me again, but until then, take care of the kids, and take care of yourself, Crow. Goodbye.”_

The buffering phone was tucked away once the message had been sent, and moments later heard the roaring hum of a motorcycle alight in the city. Yuugo didn’t know what had made him say goodbye, but reflecting on it, he wasn’t worried. Somehow, he didn’t see himself returning any time soon.

Once again, his eyes scanned over the thin shadows of the Commons from behind cerulean glass, seeking out that lone violet flicker that would take him to Rin.

The night wore on. The moon was full. The city was blue.

  



	7. Chapter 7

This place was serene in the light. In any light. Strange though it may seem that such a place would exist at all. Yuugo stared up over his feet at the interior of the underground church for the third time that hour. Neither the Tops nor the Commons had anything like this.

Vaulted ceilings craned high overhead in the narrow valley of the room, its sky-reaching walls made of aged wooden slats or raw, earthy stone. The pews were chipped in places, and several were askew, and yet more flaws were visible in the floor and furniture in the light. Though there wasn’t much light to begin with; the tall, vent-like slats cut out of the steep main wall let in narrow streams of a dim-yet-heavenly glow. But that was alright. Its lone inhabitant didn’t require much light, and enjoyed the homely gloom. Though built and decorated with an all-too-familiar sense of destitution, to Yuugo, this place felt softer than the Commons. It was warmer.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his phone screen go dark, and he turned his attention back to it quickly.

“Oi! Wake up, you, I wasn’t done with that.” He poked at the device a few times until it returned him to the text message he’d been typing. He continued his work on it in quiet, his gloves racing across the keys without a sound.

_“You’ll take better care of her next time, won’t you? I don’t need to be the person reminding you of this, but you almost lost her…”_ he sighed inwardly, _“You thought you **did** lose her… But she’s alright now…”_

Yuugo’s face broke into a shaky grin of relief, even now, and he repeated to himself in a reverent whisper, “She’s alright now…”

He gladly replayed in his mind the very moment that he saw Yuzu again, after living for what felt like so long with the belief that she had met a horrific end. The mere thought of her now…knowing she was in just the other room…safe and unscathed…bright and cheerful…brought unshed tears to the Synchro duelist’s eyes.

_“You’ve gotta be just as glad as I am to have her back…”_ he continued typing, _“but that hardly means she’s back for good… Be careful with her, alright…? Keep her safe for me…”_

He slowly leaned back and tapped a foot thoughtfully as he re-read the messages. Something was missing… After several long seconds, he gradually began to tap the keys again…

_“It’s hard to know what to say to you…with what an idiot you’ve been…”_ he cracked a smile, _“You’ve made your fair share of mistakes, to be sure… Even though Yuzu’s too nice to say she minds… She never really minds about anything…but if she does, you’ll know, ‘cuz she’ll whack you with that fan of hers,”_ he chuckled out loud, and winced at the thought of the girl’s rare temper, _“But you know about that fan already.”_

He paused, his thoughts gathering together stronger now. He typed a bit quicker, with a bit more confidence.

_“I’ve gotta tell it to you straight… Losing her, or…thinking we lost her…was hard for everyone…some of us took it a lot harder than others… Don’t let yourself forget how bad you took it… Actually, think about it whenever you can…how much it hurt…”_ his gaze softened on the letters he typed,_ “It’s not a load of fun, for sure. I’ve tried it, too. And it makes me think about everything I’ve ever done wrong for her… But once you think about it more, it’s not so bad…because you can always calm your fears by knowing…she’s still here now…”_

His mouth set itself into a thin line of determination. The phone clacked quietly as leather gloves tapped it faster.

_“But it’s still gotta be scary; you’ve gotta remember how it felt, so that you’ll always know what’ll happen to you if you let yourself lose her again. That can’t happen. No matter what, no matter how hopelessly gone you think she is, no matter if she crashes her motorcycle, or gets kidnapped, or anything else…you **cannot** give up on her, do you hear me…?”_

The Enter button was given a forceful smack as Yuugo began a new paragraph.

_“You care so much about her…but you care so much you can’t get over worrying about her enough to save her! You just can’t-_“ He stopped himself from typing any further, let out a deep breath, and backspaced his sentence, _“You want to protect her. So don’t worry about whether she’ll be alright…don’t fear the flames if they try to take her away…don’t fear falling if she’s beyond the sky in your world…you want to protect her…so just do it. Protect her, before anything else…”_

He closed his eyes slowly, sinking further in his seat, and tilting his head to stare into the pale church-light. Without thinking, he tangled the fingers of one hand into his hair, merely feeling the sheepish gesture he used to make so often. The slick silk locks fell lightly from his grasp when both hands moved back to the phone.

_“Promise you’ll look after her… Not all the time…there’ll always be something to separate you two…but always come back to her… In whatever world life takes you to, after everything that needs you is sated, in whatever way you can, come back to her… She needs you…”_

Eyes closed, Yuugo let a faint smile grace his features, _“Well, not so much anymore… She’s got so many people looking after her now…but…it’s the memories that make me so close to Rin…please, let it be the memories that keep you two together as well…”_

The church echoed his light chuckle, even as quiet as he’d intended it to be.

_“I guess I’m just rambling by this point, huh? Passing the torch and leaving all the instructions behind? Egh, that’s weird. Sounds like I’m old or dying or something.”_ He stared resolutely at his final words as they appeared letter by letter, _“I’ve never spoken to you before, but you can expect to hear from me again, whenever I make a mistake I can’t bear for you to repeat.”_

Yuugo nearly pressed Enter to send the message, then caught himself at the last second with an “oh!”

_“Almost forgot,”_ he typed at the end, _“About Rin…”_ his face gradually softened into nothing less than complete warmth and fondness, and he soon combed his electric hair with one tangled hand again. The thoughts of Rin were so many, but the last message was so short:

_“Don’t ever give up on her, alright?”_

Send.

Yuugo was, for once, greeted with a lack of gray buffers as the giant message actually sent.

“Oi!” a sweet voice called in the distance, “Yuugo!”

He looked up, immediately saw Yuzu standing in the small doorway to the back of the church, waving in his direction beckoningly, and immediately, he smiled.

“Be there in a second!” he called back. The Synchro duelist peeled himself out of his comfy seat, and as he walked down the aisle between the pews, he looked down at his phone one last time.

“_New Message Received.”_ It read.

Yuugo merely smiled a little wider at who the message was from, murmuring “_baka,_” briefly under his breath before his stride led him to Yuzu. Though he put the phone away, the inbox still said…

“_One new message from Yuugo, thirty seconds ago.”_

  



	8. Chapter 8

No trumpets sounded nor angels sang when Yuugo held Rin in his arms again. Not a whisper of suspicion crossed his mind at her safe return. Not a thought could make sense of the world anymore when she turned against him. And…no tears fell from riveted eyes as a beloved partner lay in burnt shrapnel at arm’s reach.

Smoke bled helplessly from the wounds carved in chrome skin, roughly stirring the dust that had settled in the dents and craters of the broken machinery’s limp form. And Yuugo’s own broken body lay right beside it.

Eyes half-lidded, fingers loosely held out to what remained, there was nothing Yuugo could do. Nothing that could be thought, or said, or done, that would ever fix this or take the pain away. The D-Wheel was destroyed; pieces of it lay scattered about it like so many fallen petals amidst the flames.

Teal eyes slowly moved over the dislocated chips and masses. No, these pieces were memories… Each one fought for with the scrapped budget of two orphaned adolescents. Even as he took in each gleaming bit of shrapnel, its entire life flooded him; how long the money had been saved for it, how many meals he and Rin had skipped, how much excitement had kept them up at night as they dreamed with eyes wide open of building their very own D-Wheel, and rising up to the Tops in the Friendship Games…

An ethereal smile echoed on Yuugo’s face. Those were some of his last days with Rin, and forever would be. Surely the monster that had just decimated him in a duel proved that; Rin wasn’t coming back.

The proof lie not in his own destruction, however. Taking a moment to feel his own injuries, feel the sharp pang in his chest with every breath and the throb of darkness that threatened to steal his senses away, he felt deserving. The fake Rin was right. He was late. He had left her alone, scared, helpless… He had taken far too long to rescue her.

Yuugo took a deep breath, wincing at the piercing pain that hit him. But his eyes never left the D-Wheel, in all its shattered glory. Rin would never have destroyed this precious part of their lives. She wouldn’t destroy their dreams. Unaware that the dark was fast approaching, and that the edges of his vision had began to fade, Yuugo murmured a few last words, with all the strength he could muster.

“I’m sorry old friend…” his smile flickered, “I don’t know what happened to Rin…and I don’t know why…but we sure did try…”

Expecting no reply, his eyes caressed the chariot of broken dreams; its lightless, lifeless heart; its stilled wheels; its ravaged, steel-and-ivory form… There were too many memories in this shell of hope to repress. Night rides through the Tops rushed back to Yuugo. As his eyes fell slowly closed, he saw skyscrapers flanking an empty, open road…saw a full moon over the water in a world that seemed to sleep for all but two…saw the galaxies overhead close enough to touch…saw Rin’s expression of wonder and pure bliss as she reached out to touch them…

Then there was only the dark of unconscious sleep.

  


Yuugo bit back his cries when thorns raked the back of his skull, and this memory, too, bled away. The D-Wheel…Rin…they seemed so long ago now… Staring dully ahead, he struggled through exhaustion to grasp at the last few traces of the faces that these names belonged to. Shining white metal and apple-green hair flashed in a haze through his mind, only briefly. But they were there. Blearily, he let that be enough.

For longer than his sense of time could imagine, Yuugo had been trapped. He hung limply in the strangling embrace of blackened ivy, scarcely able to flinch away from the touch of the thorn-wearing tendrils as they scratched and coiled over leather and skin. Already, he could feel where the crawling claws had bitten into him, drawing blood, and digging deeper still to bleed him of his memories.

He was losing himself.

‘_How long has it been…?’_ Yuugo asked himself thinly, _‘Since I lost that duel…?’_

A memory still remained that he wished would leave; recollection of the violet-haired demon who took Rin, slaughtering him in a duel… The memory of the final moments that the monster stood over him, before taking his life.

Sort of.

As far as expectations of Hell went, Yuugo could count himself as disappointed. Weary eyes dragged their way over the oozing void of black and orchid lights and shadows, and the infinite stretch of the corrupted plants that held him in a crucificial grip. He had thought that, at least in death, he could be with Rin again.

If no other comfort was offered by the nauseating miasma and manic thorns, Yuugo had begun to understand. With a cheerless smile, he hung his head lower. Rather, he had begun to _become_… As claws once more flashed across his head and stole a memory away, he felt the space left behind fill in quickly, intrusively, with memories and emotions that were far from his own. They were…_his_. The demon’s.

Yuugo blinked rapidly at the wave of infectious feelings: spite, frustration, malice, smugness, vengeance… Magenta bled into one of his teal eyes, but this, as well as the new emotions, subsided. But how many more times could he fight them off? There was a stain left behind by these things; a violent residue that he couldn’t fight off. Yes, he was angry. Yes, he wanted revenge… One might even go as far as to call these things natural, considering that the one putting him through this torture was the same vile psychopath that had taken Rin away.

But Yuugo’s mind suggested things that made him tremble in fear of himself, things he wouldn’t dream of doing to another living creature. Until now. Because those ideas were looking better by the second, and behind the wan remaining memories of Rin, his head flashed with images of knives and whispers of what to do with them.

‘_That monster took Rin away, he deserves whatever he gets.’_

‘_He’s trapped you here and tormented you, why shouldn’t you want to torment him?’_

‘_Don’t just kill him. Make it last. Have some fun with it.’_

Far beyond the void, an echoed roar was the only thing to break the stream of cruel suggestions. Yuugo lifted his eyes faintly. One of them flickered out of color again.

“Clear Wing…” he murmured hoarsely. A second roar joined it, then a third…then a fourth… A new wave of emotions flooded Yuugo, but this time they erased everything.

The clarion calls echoed on just outside this wretched world, urging a single command in a toneless voice:

‘_Become One.’_

“I know…!” Yuugo fought at the bonds briefly, his breath hitching at the distant bellows. This place wasn’t where he belonged… He wasn’t meant to rot forever in this prison. There were others he was supposed to be with…

Another call ripped through the world…but this time, it came from within.

“_Yuugo…”_

The blunette’s eyes widened only for a moment, the roars briefly forgotten. The plants dredged another memory from him.

  


Rin lay in his arms, her amber eyes barely held open, barely able to focus on his tear-stained face as he lifted her closer and held her tighter.

“Rin…?” he trembled. She’d just said his name. Had she come back to her senses? Did Clear Wing’s attack knock her back to normal? Innumerable questions fluttered in the empty space of his mind, creating nothing but a bustling panic and a very noisy sense of hope, as he awaited another word from her.

“Come on, Rin…!” he urged, shaking her shoulder as gently as if she were glass, “Rin! RIN!”

At first, nothing. Then her lips gently parted to form that one word again, laced with reverent softness…

“Yuu…go…”

Gentleness painted her expression in innocence, and Yuugo didn’t hold himself back from embracing her for one more second. Pulling her tightly against his chest, he knew in that precious moment, clinging to that single expression, that this was Rin…

Rin who stretched every penny for the sake of the D-Wheel.

Rin who reached for the stars in that nighttime ride.

Rin who draped him with her coat while he slept.

Rin who nursed him back to health when he was sick.

Rin who teased him for his banana hair.

Rin who had been helpless, and scared, and alone.

Rin, who he would never let go of again.

The memory shattered, right before he knew that Rin would vanish again, and the cruel faker would take her place and win that duel…

  


Yuugo didn’t fight when this memory was ripped away. He didn’t have to. The claws subsided, and the dragons’ roars were closer than before. But they didn’t bother him.

While one half of his being burned with an animal desire to answer the call, the half of himself left intact could only see one thing…

Rin.

He didn’t have to struggle for her memory anymore. He didn’t have to plead for every glimpse of her appearance and snatch of her voice. She was there. No matter where she was beyond these four walls…she was there, in that moment, with him.

Nothing in the world had to make sense (a darn good thing too, because it didn’t) for Yuugo to follow the one thing in his heart that had always led him to Rin: his stupidity. The same sense that made him search across dimensions, made him stand up to demons, made him fall in love, was the same indomitable idiocy that allowed one brief and recent memory of holding Rin in his arms, to blow away a world of doubt.

The bellows found no end; dragons roars clamored throughout all of existence and threatened with all their might to rip Yuugo in two. But though one eye was blinded with allure to this almighty command, the other half was too foolishly blinded by love.

“We _will_ be one…” he reconciled through grit teeth. Nothing would stop that command from being obeyed. Nothing could prevent the others from joining him in this prison. But nothing would take Rin away from him. Even if he lost her name, even if her laugh was gone from his mind, even if her body was gone from his arms, he wouldn’t let himself lose her in this way.

This torture could take every last bit of him, but he wouldn’t let it take the heart that belonged to Rin.

Beyond the veil of Yuri’s blackened soul, even as Zarc took form, and the four dimensions fell together, Yuugo was never truly lost…

His heart beat on.

  



End file.
